I’ve found myself asking myself severally, why did I take to writing? There are many answers, but primarily, it’s the same reason why I chose to study Engineering (specialising on the design aspect) and that is; for expression. I know that’s weird but really, when I do my designs, they are just expressions of what I conceive in my mind and sometimes it gets so real up there and I got to put it down somewhere. Ever had that feeling like you want to pee? Are you ever able to hold it perpetually? Oooh you must be real strong to try it. The same goes for my writing. I’ve never found an environment that’s complete for both designing and writing but one thing I always find is the ability to create my own cocoon to incubate my imaginations and ideas whenever I pick up a pen/pencil. And yes, I get real lonely but when I’m done writing what’s on my mind, it’s like I finished peeing, I don’t really agonize over whether people will love it or not (when I first started, my mind used to drift towards the question of acceptance and acceptability). I just know I’ve given birth to something that nobody else will ever give birth to and I’ve used my own words to make my own world. Also, if you don’t write your story, someone else will do it badly.
I wrote my first full novel in 2008/2009. I tore it up during a battle with depression. I knew it was good but it looked horrible at the time. Talk of killing a new born. Several other short stories followed, some I gave out to people who wouldn’t appreciate it enough to publish it, others I lost and others I tore up. I’ve killed many newborns. Sometimes, it’s just the perfectionist in me but mostly I really didn’t care about perfection.
I preferred writing poems and I still do. It’s the most expressive form of literature as far as I am concerned. I could send/feel love as it is in a sonnet, adoration in an ode, bravery in an epic, pride and strength in a rap and a ballad brings me down to tears. I’m a writer and even if I stopped it now, I’d still do it sometime and the same goes for my design. I love it and its attendant loneliness. Many times, I feel like crazy but really there’s a thin line between genius and insanity. Walking that line is always a good activity for the daring and the fearless.
Thanks for reading my mind!!