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Monthly Archives: March 2014

Death to the Broken-hearted

Let him that hath not love be

Let him be clubbed to death

He that let an arrow pierce his heart

Be left to bleed to death

He that was forcefully un-milked

Shalt be stabbed with a poisoned prick

He that hath little

Hath the little taken

He that hath none, save his life

Let not his life be safe with him

His heart is broken, why doth he yet live

It’s not the natural order, for the heartless die

A bounty on the broken-hearted

Reward his killer with the king’s wealth.

 

 

Poem written and published by Tito Tobi Oyetimein

 
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Posted by on 29/03/2014 in Poems

 

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The Business Economics of a BoyFriend-Girlfriend Relationship

Truth be told, the world is a market-place just like Yoruba people believe, we have a cliché in my language, Aye l’oja. In a market, you buy and you sell. If you’ve never learnt to view the world like this, it’s obviously the reason why you just remain in a rat-race. In a market, you make relationships. Above all, in a market, you let your head lead you and let your heart follow. You don’t go to the market to buy gold trinkets when you’ve been starving for 2 days. You love the trinkets but it’s an alternative you have to forego.

Now straight to business, I’m a single boy and in the market, you are a single girl and you’re in the market. I write my list of what I want in a girl. You have your list. I’m demanding and you’re supplying or you’re demanding and I’m supplying. There’s a point where we meet and a price is to be set. Here’s my principle, Tito never wastes resources on a girl that isn’t going to give commensurate satisfaction in cash or in kind. Resources include money, time, airtime recharge vouchers and words. For instance, I never tell a girl I love her if I’m not sure of it. If it turns out I didn’t love her, she’ll be heartbroken and find it hard to trust another man and that way, I’ll be driving up the cost of getting that girl. Inflation sets in. Too many single girls in the market, demand shoots up and supply is low and so on. I wouldn’t spend any of these resources, especially time on a girl who won’t repay. That sounds harsh, right?

Satisfaction to me is full attention (no playing), and ultimately a good family in the future. To someone else, it may be different and include sexual satisfaction. I also appreciate that and many others but I guess sexual satisfaction is a mutual thing, ceteris paribus, so it’s not on my first list. The price for it has been set.

Price Determination

Now, as a manager and an economist, I’ll ask my guys, if you give 1 hour of your time to a lady, you should desire a commensurate amount of attention and time because you’re supplying high-valued resources. You don’t be talking to a girl and she’s pinging on her mobile. Son, you’re making a loss and when supply is greater than demand, price crashes. Homie, you’re making us lose value all over the world. ALL OF US! Secondly, are you telling me she’ll collect all that money from you and not give a good break down, even if you don’t want a financial breakdown, you should desire more. Give her the money but she should show you proof she is willing to build a home with you, not just get herself some trinkets and move on to the next guy who can pay more. At the same time, do not demand more than you’re supplying. You don’t buy twenty naira chewing gum for a girl and get down into her. You’re spoiling the market, whoever will marry her may not get good value for his investments and if you outrightly abuse a lady, that’s way too much. She’ll probably find it hard to trust another man because you r(e)aped where you didn’t sow. It drives up inflation. The ladies become hard to get and scarcity increases. I mean, look at Oprah, such a vast untapped amount of wealth causing inflation, y’know what I mean.

The bottom line is always make sure that demand meets supply at every point in a relationship, even before marriage. That’s the economics of a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

 
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Posted by on 19/03/2014 in Uncategorized

 

My Life in the Last Week

Well, in the last 5 days, Nigeria where I live has made me experience a whole lot of things:

I spent 3 days trying to finish up on my Masters Degree Project.

Then I published a little novel titled  “When We Made Men” aimed at teenagers and young adults. I’ve not even checked back to monitor the sales figures.

Then it was Saturday and I woke up to find the whole block empty.  All my neighbours had gone for an interview conducted by the Nigerian Immigration Services. Yeah, I remember they told me about it but I decided to just sit back and pray for them. I’m an Engineer (who works privately) and a Writer and I do these things because I love them and I enjoy doing them. The pay packet of a young engineer in Nigeria is still small so they expected me to join them in getting government job. Well, 2 hours after they left, I read on Sahara Reporters News Page that 10 people had died during the interview. I got tensed but not scared. Then, an hour later, BBC reported that 5 more people had died at the interview and several more were injured.

What sort of interview is this? I asked myself.

Then I logged on to the internet and I saw pictures. There were 3000 available positions and approximately 2million people had applied and showed up on the same day and in different venues all over the country. I know you’re shocked but that’s the level of unemployment in Nigeria, the most populous black nation on the planet.

Well, my neighbours returned, all looking really depressed. Many of them summoned up the courage to congratulate me for my foresight. Talk of sticking with my low-paying job. I couldn’t help feeling a little smug but really. I won’t blame them.

Then on Sunday, I decided not to attend church but spend the time doing some statistical analysis on energy demand in Nigeria. Some of us still take pride in a low-paying job. Enough pride to skip Sunday service. Then I read another news on the internet, the President will be inaugurating a National Conference that comprises 492 delegates, each of them receiving 12million Naira for discussing “the Nigerian agenda”. I normally don’t cuss but excuse me, WTF is the Nigerian agenda. The budget for the conference is 7 Billion Naira and there are no youths among the delegates. Some hours later, I try to keep up with the news and I watched as a Nigerian commissioner and political office holder slaps a graduate and manhandles him. That’s barbaric, I thought.

Then, just this morning, I dressed up to get into my department in the faculty of Engineering, Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria. The building was sealed off because security officials believe an explosive – (BOMB, in plain language) has been planted somewhere inside the building. Well, the only problem is – I’m already inside the building, doing my work and updating my blog. I learnt a lesson, though.

It’s a matter of time before the things that happen far away eventually find their way to our doorstep if we keep quiet about them. The Nigerian youth is dying. God save him.

 
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Posted by on 18/03/2014 in Uncategorized

 

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What it Takes to Be A Writer

Today is the 14th of March, 2014, I will always remember it as the day i published my first novel which although is not my first literary piece, it is my first effort into making writing something public that people will read and judge. Here are a few facts about my newly published book which is now available here on smashwords:

Title: When We Made Men

Number of Pages: 73(A4)

Editted: 642 times

Number of Words: 28210 words

Started Writing: May 2, 2013.

Now, many friends ask me occasionally about how much goes into writing a book, especially fiction. Well, my responses have always been unsatisfactory for them, that I can tell looking at their faces when I give my response. I’ve often told people that it really doesn’t require much; maybe a good mastery of your language, a wide imagination and willingness to put down your thoughts (solitarily or otherwise). The truth is people expect writers and storytellers to be a lot more than they are. We are ordinary people who just take a chance with their imagination. That’s it – we take a chance. When you’re in any field of creativity, you do your best. I often ask myself what makes James Hadley Chase novels different from other similar crime and detective novels, maybe the seductive covers. Same goes for many other writers, so don’t get me started. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie recently stated that she didn’t put much (of her creative self) in Americanah, well, nobody knows that now.

So back to what you want to know about what you should do if you want to be a published writer, be courageous enough to put out your thoughts and say what you want to say. Don’t fret over how it will be accepted and asking me the same question several times. I leave you with a thought from Charlie Chaplin.

 

Also, remember to check out my novel and if you are resident in Nigeria, it may take an extra week before you are able to purchase due to the fact that payment on smashwords is only through paypal and you know, paypal don’t trust us, I hope they learn how to some day.

 
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Posted by on 14/03/2014 in Uncategorized

 

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14+1 Quotes from Albert Einstein

The 14th day of March is the birth day of many special people and this time I think it’s only nice to share 14 quotes that evidently shaped the life of Albert Einstein as described in his own words. I have also added a special one quote for all the people who were born on this same day as the man who as been described as the greatest Jew to walk the earth after Jesus Christ. I guess you’ll also find it interesting to know that today is Pi Day if you write your dates American styled, (3.14). Enjoy.

  1. When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.

 2. I shall never believe that God plays dice with with the world.

(Einstein’s objection to the quantum theory, in which physical events can only be known in terms of probabilities. It is sometimes quoted as “God does not play dice with the Universe.”

Letter to Max Born)

3. Education is that which remains, if one has forgotten everything one learned in school.

4. Desire for approval and recognition is a healthy motive but the desire to be acknowledged as better, stronger or more intelligent than a fellow being or fellow scholar easily leads to an excessively egoistic psychological adjustment, which may become injurious for the individual and for the community.

(Ideas and Opinions, “On Education,” address to the State University of New York, Albany)

5 To me the worst thing seems to be (that) a school principally works with methods of fear, force, and artificial authority. Such treatment destroys the sound sentiments, the sincerity and the self-confidence of pupils and produces a subservient subject.

 

6. The real problem is in the hearts and minds of men. It is easier to denature plutonium than to denature the evil spirit of man.

7. Marie Curie is, of all celebrated beings, the only one whom fame has not corrupted.

8.  God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically.

 

 9.  It seems hard to sneak a look at God’s cards. But that he plays dice and uses ‘telepathic’ methods (as the present quantum theory requires of him) is something that I cannot believe for a single moment.

10.I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.

 

 11. If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music…I get most joy in life out of music.

12. Unless Americans come to realize that they are not stronger in the world because they have the bomb but weaker because of their vulnerability to atomic attack, they are not likely to conduct their policy at Lake Success or in their relations with Russia in a spirit that furthers the arrival at an understanding.

(Following its establishment in 1945 the United Nations General Assembly met temporarily in Lake Success, New York State, pending the setting up of a permanent headquarters.)

13. If I had known that the Germans would not succeed in constructing the atom bomb, I would never have lifted a finger.

(Referring to his efforts that eventually helped in making the first atomic bomb)

14. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker.

(Reflecting on his role in the development of the atom bomb)

15. You imagine I look back on my life’s work with calm satisfaction, but from nearby it looks quite different. There is not a single concept of which I am convinced it will stand firm, and I feel uncertain whether I am in general on the right track.

 

 
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Posted by on 14/03/2014 in Biographies

 

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Masturbation: Healthy or Not?

Culled from The Conversation, UK.

Are religious reasons enough for us to condemn the act?

Masturbation, or touching one’s own genitals for pleasure, is something that babies do from the time they are in the womb. It’s a natural and normal part of healthy sexual development.
According to a nationally representative US sample, 94% of men admit to masturbating, as do 85% of women. But societal perspectives of masturbation still vary greatly, and there’s even some stigma around engaging in the act. Related to this stigma are the many myths about masturbation, myths so ridiculous it’s a wonder anyone believes them.
They include:

masturbation causes blindness and insanity;
masturbation can make sexual organs fall off; and

masturbation causes infertility.

In actual fact, masturbation has many health benefits that are good for you
For women, masturbation can help prevent cervical infections and urinary tract infections through the process of “tenting,” or the opening of the cervix that occurs as part of the arousal process.
Tenting stretches the cervix, and thus the cervical mucous. This enables fluid circulation, allowing cervical fluids full of bacteria to be flushed out. Masturbation can lower risk of type-2 diabetes (though this association may also be explained by greater overall health), reduce insomnia through hormonal and tension release,and increase pelvic floor strength through the contractions that happen during orgasm. For men, masturbation helps
reduce risk of prostate cancer, probably by giving the prostate a chance to flush out potential cancer-causing agents.
Masturbation also improves immune functioning by increasing cortisol levels, which can regulate immune functioning in small doses. It also reduces depression by increasing the amount of endorphins in the bloodstream.
Masturbation can also indirectly prevent infertility by protecting people from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) that can lead to infertility – you can’t give yourself one of these infections! There is one final benefit to
masturbation: it’s the most convenient method for maximising orgasms. And there are plenty of additional
benefits from orgasms generally, including reduced stress, reduced blood pressure, increased self-esteem, and
reduced pain.
Good for your partner too
From a sexual health point of view, masturbation is one of the safest sexual behaviours. There’s no risk of pregnancy or transmission of sexually transmitted infections; there’s no risk of disappointing a partner or of performance anxiety; and there’s no emotional baggage. And, only an arm’s length away is mutual masturbation. Mutual masturbation (two partners who are pleasuring themselves in the company of the other) is a great (and safe) activity to incorporate into other partnered sexual activities.
It can be especially good to begin to learn more about what your partner likes and to demonstrate to your partner what you like. Open communication with a partner will improve your sex life and relationship, but is also
important for modelling communication skills for younger generations. Talking about masturbation also has benefits. Promoting sex-positive views in our own homes and in society, including around masturbation, allows us to teach young people healthy behaviours and attitudes without stigma and shame.
Parents and guardians who feel embarrassed or need extra guidance to do this should seek out sex-positive sources of information, like ones from respected universities.

 
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Posted by on 12/03/2014 in Uncategorized

 

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The Last Writings of Ken Saro-Wiwa – Part 2

24 October 1994

“…The RLA prize [Right Livelihood Award] was most welcome. It encouraged the Ogoni people a great deal, legitimized MOSOP as a non-violent, and environmental and human rights organization, and the prize money will ease things a great deal for me. I don’t see Shell and the government allowing me to travel—they must dread what bombs my presence will drop in Europe as I’m supposed to address the Swedish Parliament, the European Parliament in Strasbourg and another meeting in London. There or not, my words will ring through all the places. If I can’t make it, I intend to ask my son to represent me. But somehow, I’m hopeful that I’ll be there. If I’m not, then it is in Ogoni interest that I should not be. God’s will.

As the days go by, I get the more convinced that the cause will win. I remember your encouraging me in the early days of our meeting, saying how because I had a certain independence of means, I might well be the only activist capable of giving Shell a run for their money. When I think how far we’ve gone on very thin resources, I have cause to be grateful to God. And no matter what Shell does or says, they’ve been in rough waters since July 1992 when I advised the [UN] Working Group on Indigenous Peoples in Geneva. I am grateful to all those of you who have rallied round the Ogoni cause—UNPO, Greenpeace, International Pen, etc. And there must be better news on the way. I should mention the Bodyshop, of course. You probably know that they nominated me and MOSOP for the RLA Award. I have sent an appeal to President Carter asking him to intervene and resolve the conflict. Someone of his reputation would make quite a difference. My cousin in America has been quoted as saying the MOSOP (USA) would sue Shell. Exxon had to pay 5 billion USD for the oil spill from one tanker in Alaska. By the time we’ve created sufficient awareness internationally, it should be possible for us to find assistance should we wish to sue.

… As far as I am concerned, Shell should lose its mining lease in Ogoni. They may be pretending that they do not want to return to Ogoni. The fact is that they have 500 million barrels of oil on secondary drilling at K. Dere [a village in the Gokana district, Ogoniland]; they only last year awarded a 550 million USD contract to some organization to design the gas collection throughout Ogoni and the K. Dere field was to help in the natural gas plant at Bonny. No, Shell are merely hoping that the government will succeed in “pacifying” the Ogoni and then they will move in proudly and calmly to continue to steal. They are in for a fight they will never forget. Luckily, I’m no longer alone. Several Ogoni youth are now learning the ropes, and if only they could get further exposure, they would be able to continue the struggle even in my absence.”

 

 
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Posted by on 12/03/2014 in Uncategorized

 

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